I'll keep this post short and sweet, especially considering the length of the last one. I just want to share a few thoughts.
Sunday, May 18, 2008 marked my halfway point. I am halfway done with my year contract. I have been here 6 months and have 6 to go. I'm sure you can figure out my analogies: I have played 81 of 162 games, ran 13 of 26 miles, and biked 1750 of my 3500 kilometers.
Firstly, I can't believe it's gone by this quickly. Secondly, I can't believe it's gone by so slowly.
Those two things seem to conflict; but when talking about time--they just don't.
I have experienced so much in this half a year. All you have to do is look back over the blogs I've posted to read about what I've done and see the pictures to prove it. And I know I'll experience more in the six months to come.
For some reason, within the past week, I have had 2 "daydreams" that bear repeating. Let me start by saying; typically, at some point during each day, I think of home. Not in a "Oh, I hate it here" or "I wish I were home" or "I want my mommy!" sort of way; but just in a realistic, normal way. As I think I wrote about previously, the second/third months are supposedly the toughest months to make it through. The haze of your cool "adventure" has worn off and you've settled into the reality of your new life. I was definitely somewhat homesick during those months. But crossing the six month mark perhaps stirred something in my subconscious.
Just yesterday, as I was preparing to exit the 2200 bus which had taken me into Seoul, out of the corner of my eye, I saw someone with a fast food bag in their hand. At this very second, I can't remember what it looked like, but I know it looked similar to the white bags you would get at In-N-Out Burger. I'll pause here and say, if you don't know about In-N-Out Burger, then I'm sorry. You haven't lived.
Anyhow, when the bag caught my eye, I was temporarily transported back to California. I watched myself walk into an In-N-Out (I'm pretty sure it was the one at Harbor/Orangethorpe in Fullerton, one I've been to many times, but they're all very similar, so the point is moot) with a huge smile on my face. And though I tried to stop the version of myself I was watching, he proudly proclaimed to the unsuspecting person behind the counter that he had been in Korea for a year and was so happy to be having an In-N-Out Burger.
This little daydream happened within only a few seconds. That's how they happen--very quickly, but they're very specific, and very powerful.
Earlier last week, I was getting ready for work in the morning. I was very tired that particular morning, and since I'd gotten ready quickly, I had a few moments to spare before running out to clock in. I laid on my bed briefly (something some people can't do, because they end up falling asleep and never making it to work) and shut my eyes.
As soon as I shut my eyes, I saw myself walking through Los Angeles International Airport (LAX). I don't remember carrying any bags, but I was briskly walking through the airport, making my way outside. I rushed out the automatic doors and ran to the sidewalk. With tears of joy in my eyes, I knelt down and kissed the sidewalk (don't say anything about how dirty that LA sidewalk would be, I know). I was very happy to be home.
Truly, last November, when I was at LAX preparing to travel to Korea, after I'd unloaded all my bags and boxes out of the rental car, after I returned the car; when I was walking out of the parking garage into the airport terminal--I was caught up in the emotion of that moment. I realized the gravity of what I was doing. Marty McFly would say, "This is heavy, Doc" to which Doc would respond, "You keep saying 'heavy'; is there something wrong with the earth's gravitation in the future?"
As I neared the airport terminal to get on a plane bound for Seoul, I could hear my grandmother's voice saying, "Why couldn't you have picked Australia or something?" I could hear the sound of my Altima's engine running, without me behind the wheel. I felt something. I had tears in my eyes as I walked alone into the airport terminal. Literally walking into the airport terminal but figuratively walking into the unknown. I had never been out of America (except for 3 short mission trips to Mexico; and not to be mean, but let's be honest, how different is Mexico from Phoenix or Los Angeles?). I was leaving every security I'd ever known.
I will undoubtedly have tears of joy in my eyes when I return home. I will understand something only those who have spent extended periods of time away from home can feel upon their return. I look forward to kissing the sidewalk. I'll make sure I have some anti-bacterial soap with me.
Until later--
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